Attention ladies! If you’ve been walking around on the border of depression because you’re sick of being single and can’t bag the man of your dreams, it might be because Mr. Right couldn’t see pass your fashion forward outfit that you thought was “Gone with the Wind” fabulous (as Kenya Moore would say).
As it turns out there are six new fashion trends that ladies can’t get enough of that men want to just rip off of them… and not in a good way.
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When Nicki Minaj made her way into the music scene with her three tone eye-shadow and Barbie pink lipstick, she may have single handedly destroyed your love life if you thought that look was okay. Yes men are still drooling over the hip hop Barbie, but it’s because she has some other assets that are keeping their eyes away from her colorful eyes and glittery eyelashes – and if you have a body like Nicki most men won’t care what you put on your face anyway. But in case your like the 99% of us who don’t have Nicki’s expensive body, looking like you gave a Smurf a blowjob isn’t the best way to pull a man. The purple, blue, and black hues of lipstick may look cool in a photo or on the runway but once you take the high fashion look into the real world you’ve gone too far. Your lady friends might love it, but if you’re trying to get a man I would recommend you hide the Crayola colored lipstick for now.
The keyword here is metallic. Most men adore the sight of a girl’s butt in leggings, but when he can’t get past his own reflection or the rays of sunlight bouncing off your thighs things go downhill quickly. Metallic leggings have a habit of making everything on you look unusually large so while it may make your butt look a little bigger, it can also give the appearance of thunder thighs and bulky calves. Not to mention the fact that aluminum foil never looked good wrapped around anything unless it was a Thanksgiving turkey in the oven – so unless you want your lower half looking like a Thanksgiving feast in the worst way possible the metallic leggings have to go.
High Waisted Shorts
Ah. The high-waisted trend. I know half of you ran to your closet and grabbed unto your high waisted shorts for dear life and the other half of you are feeling a little uncomfortable because you’re wearing some right now but either way they just aren’t too popular with the fellas. Here’s the problem: when we get dressed in our wanna be sexy versions of mom jeans we see ourselves from the front. From the front high waist jeans and shorts can give some girls an hour glass figure and even help hide some of that belly fat, but from the back it’s another story. You’re probably reading this like “I’ve pulled many guys in my high waisted shorts” – and I believe you, but he got your number when you were walking towards him which meant he hadn’t actually laid eyes on the unflattering part of the outfit yet. Thanks to high waisted shorts the diaper booty phenomenon is in full effect and men are sick of it. Truth is, from the back you look like you poured a gallon of applesauce in your shorts and your once perky butt now looks like a sad old lady. While there are one or two ladies who have been able to pull off the look, I strongly recommend you consider the fact that you might not be one of them.
That’s right men are even getting picky about your footwork now. Sounds crazy right? Not once you start to break things down. It’s not the shoes themselves that make men shy away from the funky look, it’s the way you walk in them. While it actually is pretty easy to walk in the heel-less shoes without taking a mean tumble, your strut is nowhere near the confident long stride that men love to see. After all, that’s a guys favorite part about seeing you in heels anyway right? He can’t get enough of that confident runway walk, but you won’t be hitting that strut in those heel-less statement shoes you paid way too much for. Now we’re not saying trash this look all together because it’s certainly quite the fashion statement, but if it’s date night don’t be afraid to opt for a simple pump instead.
Ever heard a man talking about how much he wants to date a linebacker? I didn’t think so… so stop dressing like one. Those padded shoulders on your blazer widen your frame and that’s definitely a no no. No man is going to be turned on by the fact that you look like you need a “wide load” sign slapped on your back. If you have small breasts the look is just that much more of a bad idea because wide shoulders would just accentuate the fact that your bra cup size looks like a smart kid’s report card.
Last but certainly not least are those damn harem pants. It’s another look that has been pulled off successfully on a RARE occasion, but 98% of the time it makes you look like you’re wearing the bottom half of a chicken costume. Harem pants are made to fit loosely around your thighs while tightening around your legs. All that does it make your thighs look huge and your legs look like sticks – does that sound sexy at all to you? Can you imagine a guy saying “Damn baby I love how you have Adele’s thighs and Lindsay Lohan’s legs”? It’s just weird. To make matters worse, most harem pants today have a not-so wonderful feature known as an awkwardly low crotch. Since the crotch of the pants tend to start just a few inches above your knees it makes the proportions of your body look comical and will ensure you another lonely night at home listening to a Tony Gaskin’s seminar about how to find Mr. Right.
So there you have it. Six fashion trends that are taking the world by storm and pissing men off. Remember: I’m by no means suggesting that you should burn all these clothes, I’m simply warning you that if you meet a man who look past your fashion flaws he might pull a Kanye West and clean out your closet before you get home from work one day.
story courtesy of sister magazine thefgmlifestyle.com