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Short Story Fridays: Can I Have Extra Meat With That?

We’re back!

That’s right. “Short Story Fridays” are back and even funnier. Below you will find a short story, Can I Have Extra Meat With That?, written by Simone Grant, a writer for RnB magazine. This short story is something you can sit back, relax, grab a glass of wine, and read, but be prepared for your eyes to be filled with tears for laughing so hard.
Can I Have Extra Meat With That? is a hilarious story involving a young woman who simply wants to order pizza with extra pepperoni…and a side of Justin.

“Hello. Thank you for calling Petey’s Pazaz Pizza. This is Cheryl speaking. What can I get for you this evening?”

“Hi. Can I get a large pepperoni pizza with cheese?” Aria said into her cell phone. “Can you add chicken and sausages to that with extra pepperoni?”

“Would you like to add anything to drink with that or a dessert?”

“No, just the pizza.”

“Can I have your name and address?”

“Aria Peterson. 4113 South Hollinberry Street.”

“Okay thanks, Aria. Your total is $15.47 and your pizza will be there in about forty-five minutes.”

“Forty-five minutes?” Aria screamed into the phone. “I ordered one pizza, not the whole menu.”

“Sorry ma’am,” Cheryl said. “Fridays are our busiest nights.”

I’m so freaking hungry. Forty-five minutes sounded like forty-five days to someone who just smoked. I’m not a habitual smoker so whenever I do decide to light one up, I get faded out of this world. Not to mention smoking with Pete who owns L.A’s most popular weed spots. All he has is fire. Anyways, I’m hungry as shit and if I eat another chip, I’ll probably throw up. I need food in my life like right now.

After an hour of texting, watching YouTube videos, and playing with my nails, my doorbell finally rung. It was about damn time. I rushed to the door with my cash-$15.47 to be exact-and I wasn’t tipping this fool because my food was probably cold by now. As I opened my front door with the biggest attitude of my life, the look of anger and annoyance quickly disappeared to lust.

Not only was my pizza delivered to my front door, but a sexy caramel skinned delicious delight stood holding it. No not a slice of cake or pie. A six foot man with muscles galore and a smile to brighten up a rainy day.

“Hello?” he said in the sexiest voice I’ve ever heard. “Sorry it took so long, tonight’s been busy.”

“No, no, no, it’s okay.” I said smiling and handing him the money. “You look exhausted-would you like something to drink?”

I just knew he was going to say “no.” He probably thought I was some crazy horny ass girl trying to get it in after eating a slice of pizza-which I was-but he didn’t have to know that. To my surprise, he said “sure” and walked in. I closed the door and quickly unbuttoned my pajama shirt to look a little sexier. I walked him over to my living room and sat down on the couch next to him.

“What would you like to drink?” I asked. “Juice, water, soda?”

“Water is good.”

I went to the kitchen and grabbed a bottled water out of the refrigerator. Thank God my mom went grocery shopping yesterday. I lived with my mom, but she was never home. If she wasn’t at work in the hospital, she was with her man. I basically lived by myself which I didn’t mind. I walked back to the living room and handed my mysterious pizza guy the water.

“So what’s your name?”

“I’m Justin.”

“Nice to meet you Justin,” I said staring in his eyes. “I bet you think I’m crazy inviting you in my house.”

“No you’re beautiful and I was going to ask you for your number anyways so you’re helping me out.”

We spent an hour talking about our lives. Turns out he’s twenty-one, the same age as me. He goes to school full-time and delivers pizzas on weekends. Just like I like ‘em-educated, sexy, and independent. He kept stressing how he needed to get back to work. I kind of figured that by the way his cell phone went off. I couldn’t let him leave, at least without a kiss. I went for it. The kiss that is. I grabbed him and pulled him closer to me and locked his lips against mines. Just like a guy, he started putting his hands in my pants. I didn’t stop him. This weed made me horny just like it always did. Before I knew it, we were having sex on my couch. And man his dick was better than the sausages on my cold ass pizza. That was the best fifteen minutes I’ve had in a long time. When we were done, he put back on his “Petey’s Pazaz Pizza” uniform and headed out the door. Even though we didn’t exchange numbers, I was determined to see him again.

About a week later, I was craving pizza again. Not actual pizza, but Justin. I made another order. The same lady, Cheryl, answered the phone. I ordered the same thing I did last time, a large pepperoni pizza with sausage and chicken. And just like clockwork, Justin delivered my meaty pizza with an extra-long sausage. We did this for about a month straight. It wasn’t until last week it all stopped. I ordered that nasty ass pizza for a month and tipped him with my coochie just for him to say fuck me. Last night I tested him one more time. I ordered the same pizza from the same lady. This time when it was delivered to me another guy came to bring it. He called himself trying to invite himself in.

“What’s up ma you gone let me in or what?”

“Excuse me I don’t know you.”

“Don’t play hard to get now.”

“What?”

“My bro said you with the business so I just came to get a little taste.”

After I took the pizza and threw it at him as hard as I could, I asked him how he found out about that. He told me Justin told him everything. Turns out, Cheryl is his mom and when she found out her son was exchanging pizza for pussy, she fired him. I couldn’t believe he would go around telling everyone about our special nights. Goes to show, no man can be trusted. Even the pizza guy.

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