“So how we gone do this?” Steven said as he grabbed his crotch and licked his lips again.
This dude sure loves lickin’ his lips. In my head I’m thinking “Bruh, you ain’t LL and you far from cute at least in my eyes.
“Yeah Chanel. How we gone do this since this was your bright idea,” I said to Chanel as she stood there with a blankly.
This was her grand idea and she was standing there looking straight stupid. I never wanted to go through with this bullsh*t, but since she’s my best friend, I couldn’t resist. And the fact that I technically “owe” her something, I definitely couldn’t say no.
“Ummm. Let’s. Ummm. How about…” Chanel said as she stared at the ceiling.
“I know you have more to say than Ummm. Last time I checked Ummm wasn’t my name and didn’t start this bootleg ass threesome that I must repeat again WAS YOUR IDEA!” I said with attitude.
“Damn y’all gimme a minute. Ain’t no rush. We got all night,” she said.
“No we don’t have all night. I have plans and work in the morning. Look, how about we just take some time to gather our thoughts and feelings about this situation and reschedule. I think once we sleep on it, we’ll feel better about it let’s say next month,” I propositioned.
Before I could grab my clothes here comes Steven ol’ horny ass standing up and coming closer to Chanel and I. He grabbed his peen, yet again, and ushered his happy ass our way. One thing I don’t understand about men is why every time they’re trying to impress a girl or when they’re around their boys, they grab their thang like it’s gonna fall off or something. Never made any sense to me. Well, anywho. I got off topic, but let’s get back to the story. Where did I leave off? Oh yeah! Steven and his so called “gangsta walk.” So here his ol’ tired (and when I say tired, I don’t mean sleepy. I mean tired as in delayed or played out) ass strutting our way like he just left a meeting with his hood homies. Ugh as if letting him see me naked was hard enough, he had to try to be sexy.
“Naw. We doin’ this right here, right now,” he said rubbing his hands together. “Tonight is the perfect night. I got the R. Kelly playin’ in the background. The rose peddles on the floor. The champagne in the bucket of ice. The swisher filled with that loud. Come on. This is perfect so let’s sit on this nicely made bed and f**k it up”
“Okay. Pause. These rose peddles been dead hours ago. That cheap grocery store bought champagne was on sale. 2 for 1. That loud smells like sh*t. This is far from perfect. Look I was only helping out my best friend who obviously has a problem with this little situation so let’s call it a night. Let’s go watch the new Denzel movie. I heard it was bomb dot com,” I suggested.
“No, no, no. I made a promise so I’m going through with it and you made a promise too Ray, remember?” she said looking directly in my eyes like I knew what she was talking about.
“Yo. I don’t know what the F**k y’all got goin’ on but let’s put that sh*t aside and make some magic happen,” Steven replied.
“Come on Ray,” Chanel said pulling my arm, leading me to the bed.
And there I was. Naked. Sitting on Steven’s uncomfortable bed next to my best friend. Just when I thought it couldn’t get any weirder, Steven took his shirt off. Damn! He did have a nice body but that didn’t mean I was about to hop on it. He wasn’t my dude and he wasn’t Josh. Yeah that’s right. This whole time I was thinking about his best friend. The dude I really wanted to get to meet. How would he feel about me standing here naked in front of his homeboy? Probably not good about it at all.
“Okay I think we’re supposed to kiss or something. So come here,” Chanel said grabbing my face.
She started kissing me and I froze. Sure I’ve kissed her before but never in front of anyone. It was only for fun or when we got drunk. Now here I am standing, well sitting, in front of her boyfriend. Not mines, but hers. Then all of a sudden I hear the sound of a zipper. Steven had whipped out his peen and well you know the rest.
The next morning was even awkward. I woke up in the same bed with my best friend and her man cuddling. Birthday cake, blunt wraps, ashes, and condom wrappers filled his room. I know I said I wasn’t gonna sleep with him but when the henny hits the system, let’s just say…the henny hits the system. Do I want to discuss how his d**k was? No. Will I ever discuss last night? Probably, but not right now. All I know is I have a hangover out of this world and I just want a greasy ass hamburger, French fries, and a coke.
“Can y’all stop smoochin’ already,” I said tapping Chanel on her back.
“Aww wanna join boo? Sorry to leave you out but I thought you had enough from last night,” Chanel said with her ass poking out my way.
“No you’re right. I had enough and I’m about ready to go. My head is spinning and my stomach is regretting those shots from last night. I need food a.s.a.p,” I said holding my stomach.
“Good morning beautiful black women,” Steven said rubbing his head. “How my two African queens doing this morning?”
“Don’t call me your queen Steven,” I jabbed back. “That’s disrespectful to your beautiful black queen laying next to you.”
“Girl loosen up,” Chanel responded. “He was just playin’ right Steven?”
“Yeah baby you know you my only queen,” Steven said with his lips poked out. “Gimme kiss.”
The two “love birds” started kissing and I couldn’t roll my eyes enough. After a minute of kissing each other’s faces, Steven finally got out of bed saying “I gotta pee” and walked his way to the bathroom. Surprisingly he wasn’t doing his half gangsta, half dumb ass walk he usually does. Now that left me and bestie alone in the room together. If it wasn’t awkward before, it was about to get strange as f**k.
“So what’s up girl?” Chanel asked.
“Umm hungry ready to go eat,” I responded.
“I know that but I mean like are you okay?” she asked.
“Yeah why wouldn’t I be?” I asked. “This yo man not mines.”
“Well I don’t want things to get weird between us now you know?” she said.
“Trust it won’t,” I told her. “Long as Josh doesn’t find out.”
“Trust boo, he won’t,” she assured. “I promise you Josh will never ever find out.”
Do you believe in coincidences? Well I sure the f**k do. I believed it now more than ever. I also believe that once you talk about someone, they magically appear someway, somehow. Well that sh*t is happening right here, right now.
“Oh my goodness,” Chanel said panicking.
“What?” I said nervously.
“Josh is f**king calling right now on Steven’s phone,” she yelled.
“Oh shit, answer,” I said. “Wait don’t answer.”
“Sh*t I have to answer,” she replied. “What if he shows up here?”
“Shows up?” I yelled and asked at the same time. “Why the f…”
“Shhh I’m answering,” she said cutting me off mid-sentence.
“Hello.”
“Hey J what’s up?”
“You’re here?”
“You’re outside?”
“Right now”
“Chanel what the hell?” I screamed. “Why did you tell him to come over here?”
“I didn’t girl you know its Steven’s birthday so he’s probably surprising him,” she replied.
Knock, knock. That was the sound of the f**king door and take a wild guess on who’s on the other side? F**king Josh!
“Maybe we can ignore him and pretend we didn’t hear it,” I suggested.
“He knows Steven is here girl,” she said. “Remember it’s his birthday so knowing him he probably has some Jack Daniels in his hand.
“Oh gosh I can’t believe this sh*t,” I said.
“Yo who at the door ma,” Steven said rushing out the bathroom pulling up his basketball shorts.
“No one,” I said.
“Josh,” Chanel said slowly.
Steven looked out his window and there was his friend standing on his front lawn with a bottle of Jack in his hand just like Chanel said. Gosh I hope he doesn’t answer the door.
Check back next week to see what happens
Friends With Benefits Part 2
