It’s hard not to be super excited when we start dating someone. There is this new interesting person in our lives that says the right things and does the right things and there is no reason to argue and every day is a happy day. This person seems super perfect and we begin to feel like we’ve been hit by cupid’s arrow. We often rush into relationships, and don’t take the necessary time to wait for the newness to wear off and trust me it wears off. It takes time to truly get to know a person, their flaws, and their faults. If we take the time to really date and be friends, before we jump into relationships it may save us some heartache.
Everyone is different and will view things differently. Personally, I want a long-term relationship, so I have to make sure my mate and I are on one accord. I think three months is enough time to really know if I can be in a serious relationship with this person and accept his flaws. I feel that it’s enough time to make sure there is no ex that he is contemplating getting back together with, that he pays his bills, isn’t a gambler, etc. If we stop rushing to say that we’re in a relationship and truly make the effort to get to know a person, it may make us say, you know what, we may not be compatible, and should just remain friends. Moving in together is an even bigger step and I feel the relationship should be going good for at least a year before the thought of moving in together is addressed. Again, everyone moves at different paces. Just make sure that you are entering a relationship for the right reasons and not just to be able to say that you have a boo.
Signs that you may be moving too fast:
You are using the L word, in a month or less. Love is a strong word, and it means so much more than just being infatuated with a person. You can’t confuse really really liking someone with loving them. If it has only been two weeks and he or she is saying they love you, they obviously don’t know what love is. Don’t rush, let things build on their own. It takes months to truly love someone.
You are making major life decisions in a short period of time. Marriage, babies, moving in together, etc. are all things that shouldn’t be considered until at least a year into a relationship. If you make such major moves in a short period of time there are great chances that it will not end well.
Everyone is different. We can’t use one relationship as the scale to base all others, but we have a better chance of making it if we take our time. I was starting to think that time didn’t matter, after Khloe and Lamar. After knowing each other for a month, the two wed, and have been married for three years, but there are now reports of cheating and a possible divorce. Three years is a pretty good amount of time for two people that only knew each other a month. Maybe your relationship could beat the odds, but don’t chance it.
