Help! My Boyfriend’s Sister Ain’t Feelin’ Me
After numerous failed relationships and the occasional “friend with benefits,” you’ve finally found “the one.” He makes every other guy you’ve dealt with look mediocre because he treats you like the queen you are. Of course, not every relationship is perfect, but this is the happiest you’ve been in a long, long time.
Then, BOOM! The fairytale relationship you’ve dreamed of all your life is suddenly hitting rock bottom. Not because you caught him cheating. Not because he isn’t appreciating you anymore. So what’s the reason behind all this drama?
The one girl you thought you’d never have to worry about is the one girl who is causing the most problems. But, why? I’ve heard it all. “She doesn’t think I’m good enough for him?” “She thinks I’m going to replace her?” “She thinks he’s acting different since we got together?”
There are so many different unexplained reasons why your man’s sister just ain’t feeling you.
*** Women, in general, are very protective. It’s instinct. Call it mother nature. We’re natural caregivers. His sister might not be feelin’ your relationship simply because she wants the best for her brother and she feels no one is good enough to be with her brother. It’s the exact same situation when a mother doesn’t think a girl is good enough for her son or when a father is reluctant towards any male his daughter dates.
*** Another possibility is maybe she seen something she didn’t like. Maybe you said something she didn’t like when you first met her? Who knows. First impression is everything. Self-consciously we always over-think things. “Did she like me?” “Should I have brought that up?” “Should I have worn that?” So many questions run through our minds after we first meet someone, especially a family member of our future husband’s.
Is your social media private? Did you post something she in 2012 that seems disrespectful or a little dirty? Who knows? We know employers google search us and look at our social media accounts upon hiring us- some of them- so we know our man’s sister will do a little digging as well. Make sure before you start something serious, you look through your social media accounts to delete or hide any posts or pictures you don’t want your man, or his sister, to see.
So what should you do?
*** Be patient. She will come around. If your relationship is serious, she will have no choice but to be okay with it, right?
*** Talk to your man. Tell him you don’t like how his sister is treating you. I’m sure he’ll rectify the situation if it’s that important. Tell him how you feel and that in order for this relationship to remain healthy, he needs to communicate with her to resolve the issue. Don’t get upset if he doesn’t do so right away. Men are terrified of the women in their lives – mom’s, grand mother’s, and sister’s. He probably won’t jump to it, but give it time. He’ll come around.
*** Talk to her yourself. I know that’s the last thing you wanted to hear, but a closed mouth doesn’t get fed. Tell her how important your relationship with her is and you want to get along and work past whatever it is that’s coming between you guys.
I hope I could be of assistance to you all in rectifying your relationship with your future sister-in-law.
Below, I’ve provided a short film, Images of the Colored Eye, written by Simone Grant from Serita Productions, about a woman who is in an interracial relationship and is dealing with drama between her man and his sister’s unacceptance.