Time and time again we’ve heard that trust is the glue that holds any relationship together. The most popular quote to date is, “without trust you have nothing”. Many ask, if you aren’t able to trust the person you’re in a relationship with how can you even have a future together? But is honesty always the best solution? Should you tell your significant other every single detail of everything? Is this what true honesty entails? Most people in relationships say they lie to keep from hurting someone’s feelings. I find that most people do this but it can sometimes backfire. Now I believe it’s important to not keep really important things from your mate but some things are just left better unsaid; but does this equate to lying? Is refusing to give up particular information something you shouldn’t do? If you have a few secrets that you know may hurt your partner or could potentionaly damage your relationship but you’re also sure they’d never find out, should you tell? Or would keeping that kind of information eat you up inside? You have some people whose conscious would get the best of them and cause them to express it eventually. It would just be impossible to continue going on with life being dishonest. Others may be emotionally equipped enough to just take each lie and secret to their grave. Is this actually the right thing to do?
Each experience and relationship could very well depend on the situation and circumstance. If you’re getting married in a week and you cheated two years ago with your co worker at work, I don’t think now would be the time to come clean. Information like that could very well destroy your entire future. If it’s something you know for sure you’d never do again then I’d say forgive yourself and move forward. Now if you think you will have a problem being faithful and it looks like what you did will be a continuous thing in the relationship then maybe the right thing to do would be to come clean and reevaluate your entire relationship.
Now on the other hand if you lied about something that could potentially affect your future partners personal and marriage life, then that’s a completely different story. If you plan on marrying someone and for example you’ve been holding a secret that your child really isn’t your future husbands then this would be a completely different situation. Your husband has a right to know that type of information. He also should be given the option of either wanting to move forward in the relationship or calling it off.
In when deciding to be honest it’s very important to understand if your lie or secret could have negative or positive potential. It’s also important to really evaluate what type of lie or secret you’re dealing with. As I stated some white lies aren’t risk causing friction in a relationship especially if the lie was a onetime mistake or slip up. It is the more detailed lied that require closer attention.
Each of us will feel a sense of conviction when there is something we must discuss and tell our partner. When the stress of keeping the lie or secret starts to affect you emotionally and mentally then it’s time to pick a good time to have a one on one conversation. Guilt and the weight of a lie can greatly affect anyone who hasn’t been diagnosed as a sociopath.
We’ve heard from our parents and many religions that a lie is a lie and that all sins are equal. I disagree with this because you could have a lie that could save someone’s life or destroy it. Lies can be a very serious and life changing thing however sometimes the truth has to be told; no matter how hard it is. Dishonesty has to do with fear and insecurity; fear that we will no longer be loved or liked. Insecurity causes us to be dishonest because of doubt in oneself as well as the embarrassment of truth. If your waiting for me to tell you, in all things be completely honest then you’re reading the wrong article. I strive to provoke thought and sensibility in this judgmental and crazy world we live in. I live my life sensibly and balanced and I know that telling the truth is not always the best thing nor is it realistic. However, if telling the truth can save a life or avoid disruption and chaos then by all means do the right thing; in life this should be everyone’s ultimate goal whether honest or dishonest. When keeping this in mind think of all parties involved and if your honesty affects more positively or negatively. If positive, be brave in your truth because in the end all we hope for is the better.